Sticks and Stones
by foundaliquorstore
Summary: Whilst Gabriel knew that he was exceptionally lucky to have a boyfriend like Sam, there were some days where he didn't feel lucky. Sam and Gabriel's first fight. Sam/Gabriel AU. No character bashing, just low self-esteem!Gabriel.


**Fic prompt: Sam and Gabe's first fight.**

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He hadn't meant it, he really hadn't. But something just snapped inside Gabriel as he looked at Sam – perfect, genius Sam – and his foul mood escalated. Why couldn't anything ever go right in his life? Why did everything always go right in _Sam's _life? He had a well-paid job that he enjoyed, a brother who cared about him and the nicest personality in the world. Gabriel, on the other hand, had no job after the last restaurant he worked in went bust, a family that had disowned him for being gay and a temper that could rival the Hulk's. It was a wonder that Sam even talked to him, let alone lived with him.

Whilst Gabriel knew that he was exceptionally lucky to have a boyfriend like Sam, there were some days where he didn't feel lucky. The days when Sam's brother came to visit and Gabriel watched them laughing together, or when he'd get a call from Sam saying that he'd be late back from work. It was those days that Gabriel felt worthless. What was he to Sam? Why did Sam stick around with such a lazy, snarky asshole? The tall lawyer deserved so much more than him, and Gabriel knew it. Of course he wanted to be with Sam. He loved him more than anything, and though Sam loved Gabriel the shorter man felt like he didn't deserved the love he got. Sam could be so happy with someone else. So why did he stick around with Gabriel?

Of course, Gabriel didn't say any of that to Sam. They'd never fought before; Sam just ignored any biting comments made when Gabriel was grouchy, but today was different. Instead of vocalising his fears and lack of self esteem, Gabriel rounded on Sam. The things he said... they were hollow and empty. Gabriel didn't mean any of it, but he was a good actor and made the lies seem like truths by shouting them in anger. Poor Sam hadn't seen it coming.

"...your stupid brother. You're so dependent on him it's fucking creepy, you know that?..."

"...and my god, you are so easy to push over. I bet you'd give anyone a hand job if they asked you politely enough..."

"...pathetic ickle Sammy Winchester, still the weakest kid in the playground, can't even stick up for himself..."

As Gabriel fired at him, Sam's resolve crumbled. The viciousness in his boyfriends words cut him to the core, and he had to hold back tears. Every insult was like a punch in the gut, and Sam slowly felt himself give in.

"Fine." He interrupted Gabriel mid sentence, his voice quiet and trembling. He stared at the floor in front of Gabriel's feet, refusing to look up at the golden eyes that had held so much hate.

"What, are you speaking now? Finally worked up a voice have you?" Sam almost shivered at the spite in Gabriel's voice, but instead he tightened his fists and willed himself not to cry.

"I'm obviously not good enough for you. I'm going." There was a pause, and Sam looked up hesitantly to see Gabriel wearing a cold expression on his face. Sam's heart clenched painfully as he saw no hint of remorse in Gabriel's gaze as he spoke.

"Took you long enough."

Gabriel regretted the words as soon as he had spoken them. Sam's devastated face broke his heart, and as Gabriel watched Sam turn and flee out of the apartment he felt a crushing weight as he realised what he'd done. Stupid, stupid Gabriel, he thought to himself glumly. You just lost the only good thing you had going in your life. But a part of Gabriel knew that it was okay, because Sam was now free of him and could now go and find someone worth loving.

It was two days later when someone knocked on the door to his apartment. Gabriel had been sleeping on the sofa, unable to go back into he and Sam's old bedroom without crying. Instead he had spent the past two days slowly filling up the living room with candy wrappers and sat around in a white vest, staring at photographs that still lined the walls, beer in hand. When the doorbell rang, he shuffled over to the door and pulled it open tiredly.

A sudden weight ended up on his chest and he was slammed back into his apartment, right up to the wall. Dean Winchester was pressing his arms against Gabriel's throat and glaring at him venomously.

"What. Have. You. Done. To. My. Brother?" He said menacingly through gritted teeth. Gabriel gasped for air and gestured wildly to be let down. Dean loosened the pressure slightly, but didn't let him go. Gabriel took a gulp of air and glared right back at the taller man.

"I did him a favour, okay?" Dean growled.

"You call turning him bloody mess a _favour_? He won't even tell me what you said, just lies there crying into a pillow. You've really screwed him up, you son of a bitch. You'd better fix this." Gabriel shook his head as much as Dean's arm would allow.

"Trust me, this is the best thing for him. He ain't gonna be tied to me anymore, and in the long run that's better for him." Dean looked at Gabriel like he was mad.

"So what, this was all just some stupid self-righteous bullshit plot made to get Sammy to leave you?" Gabriel paused before nodding.

"Yeah, if you want to put it that way." Dean's arm slackened and fell to his side, a looked of surprise on his face. Gabriel sighed and explained tiredly. "Look, Sam deserves better than me. I was tying him down. I mean, look at me." He gestured to himself, and then to the piles of candy wrappers and empty beer cans strewn all over the floor. "I'm a mess. A bum. A good for nothing, useless piece of crap. But Sam, Sam's amazing. He's got everything going for him, except me. I don't know why he stuck around so long to be honest. So yeah, I know I upset him. I never wanted to, but I had to act like an asshole to make him realise that I'm no good to be with. All the vacuous crap I was saying – I didn't mean any of it. I just tried to hit him where it'd hurt most so that he'd stay away. I don't want him to become like me." The last sentence was mumbled in a defeated voice, and Gabriel looked away from Dean's incredulous face.

"Gabe?" No. Gabriel slowly looked towards the door to see Sam standing in the doorway, eyes raw from crying and filled with pain. Gabriel shook his head, realising that Sam must have heard everything. Glaring at Dean, who was now looking uncomfortable, Gabriel slammed his fist into the wall.

"Dammit, Dean! You planned this, didn't you?" Dean nodded and shrugged nonchalantly. Gabriel turned to look at Sam.

"The point still stands, Sammy. I'm no good for you, I'm no good for anyone. You should get out while you can." Sam shook his head slowly.

"You're an idiot." Gabriel started.

"W-what?" Sam walked over to him purposefully. Gabriel stood still, confused.

"You think you're dragging me down? Gabe, you're the only reason I got that job in the first place, remember? You convinced me to keep up with law school when I considered quitting, you're the reason that I managed to pass my exams – hell, I wouldn't be who I am today without you." He paused, eyes burning. When he spoke, his voice was softer. "Gabe, I didn't know you felt that way about yourself. You should have told me, I could have got you help-"

"I don't need a shrink." Gabriel said angrily. Sam pulled his bitch face and sighed.

"Then you gotta start believing in yourself more. Your an amazing chef, but I know that your true love is baking. Why don't you quit looking for a job at a restaurant and start up a bakery? Would you be happy then?" The last question was asked with a little desperation. Sam took a step closer so that they were only a centimetre away from each other and cupped Gabriel's face in his big hands.

"You're perfect to me. I want you to be happy, and _I _want to be happy – but I can't be happy without you. Do you- do you think we could, y'know, be together again?" Sam bit his bottom lip nervously, his eyes full of emotion. Gabriel reached up and ran his thumb over Sam's cheek before speaking softly.

"I missed you." Taking that as a yes, Sam wrapped his arms around Gabriel tightly. Neither of them noticed Dean edging his way out of the apartment until they heard the door shut with a click. Soon afterwards the sound of a car driving away could be heard, and the two men kissed lovingly.

Sam and Gabriel would fight again, as all lovers do, but every time they did it would end quickly with apologies and a peace offering of pie or chocolate. Because even when they fought, they knew that nothing was really strong enough to break them. And hey, the make-up sex was great.


End file.
